Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating – always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding – A case of wife or death.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.

What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead give away.)

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia – the LAN down under.

Every calendar’s days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted – It taint yours and it taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

It is my hope that you wake every day either looking for poems to read & feel, or looking to share poems like that, or maybe to find the words, ideas & feelings to build poems of your own to share (like flowers from your garden, or cookies you just made, or zucchinis you have too many of….)

It is also my hope that you don’t mind if I share an occasional poem with you, especially on those days I love you so much but can’t find words to say without repeating myself (as if that’s a bad thing.)

And it is my hope you have too many… Love you, Ian xxox

So! Here are two from a current favorite of mine – the first is here (you gotta click it to listen to it. You’ll be glad you did!)

The other is here:

All the Whiskey in Heaven
by Charles Bernstein

Not for all the whiskey in heaven
Not for all the flies in Vermont
Not for all the tears in the basement
Not for a million trips to Mars

Not if you paid me in diamonds
Not if you paid me in pearls
Not if you gave me your pinky ring
Not if you gave me your curls

Not for all the fire in hell
Not for all the blue in the sky
Not for an empire of my own
Not even for peace of mind

No, never, I’ll never stop loving you
Not till my heart beats its last
And even then in my words and my songs
I will love you all over again

Sunny days ahead...

It’s the dream we carry
that something wondrous will happen
that it must happen -
time will open
hearts will open
doors will open
mountains will open
spring will will gush forth from the ground
that the dream itself will open
that one morning we’ll quietly drift
into a harbor we didn’t know was there

by Olav Hauge

Tesla Motors, maker of the pure electric high performance sports car will be in Friday Harbor for the first time this Saturday.

The zero-emission Roadster accelerates from 0-60 in 3.7 seconds without a drop of gasoline, making it faster than many sports cars yet twice as energy-efficient as a hybrid.

The hand-built carbon fiber Roadster takes no gas and produces no fumes. Already, Tesla owners have driven 4 million electric miles – saving more than 20,000 gallons of gas and almost 5,000 barrels of oil. It is quickly becoming the choice for discerning drivers who demand performance with a clean conscience.

As part of Tesla’s Summer Electric Roadster Tour, we will be in Friday Harbor to show that electric cars are a reality and don’t need to compromise in design, performance and engineering.

WHERE: Earthbox Motel and Spa
410 Spring Street
Friday Harbor, WA 98250

WHEN: Saturday, July 3rd, 2010. 10am – 4pm.

WHAT: The public is invited to check out the Roadster and Tesla will be hosting test drives by appointment. Contact Genny Carter at 206.682.2625 or gcarter@teslamotors.com.

Check it out....

The latest class is ready for the beach: In front, from left: Margaret Langlie, Win Rhodes, Paulette Brunner, Steve Porten, Kitty Dolan, and Rusty Cynthia Johnson. In back: Margaret Johnson, Shann Weston, Earnie Clifton, Ron Kinner, Chris Curtin, Josef Blanc-Ridings, Kay Keeler, Sarah Wixom, and Dandy Porter.

WSU Extension Beach Watcher Coordinator Shann Weston wrote to tell you & me that she just graduated her latest class of Beach Watchers…you can learn more about the program here, and follow their blog here. Here’s more from Shann:

San Juan County Extension is proud to announce the graduation of the
2010 WSU Beach Watcher Class. Students of all ages traveled the islands and
learned about the Salish Sea Ecosystem from many talented instructors. WSU
Beach Watchers give back to the community by assisting scientific research,
stewardship projects and by providing education and outreach to residents
and island visitors.

Right now, before you do anything else, call someone & tell them how you appreciate them. How life’s better because they’re around. How they make you smile. How you’re glad they’re in your posse.

Kinda like a phone hug or something.

Then get back to work (the San Juan Update’s data department tells me that according to our stats, 84% of our readers read the Update during business hours. So I know where you are, right now.)

You’ll be glad you did.

Blame it on me if you want.

A. Father’s Day

I Have News for You
by Tony Hoagland

There are people who do not see a broken playground swing
as a symbol of ruined childhood

and there are people who don’t interpret the behavior
of a fly in a motel room as a mocking representation of their thought process.

There are people who don’t walk past an empty swimming pool
and think about past pleasures unrecoverable

and then stand there blocking the sidewalk for other pedestrians.
I have read about a town somewhere in California where human beings

do not send their sinuous feeder roots
deep into the potting soil of others’ emotional lives

as if they were greedy six-year-olds
sucking the last half-inch of milkshake up through a noisy straw;

and other persons in the Midwest who can kiss without
debating the imperialist baggage of heterosexuality.

Do you see that creamy, lemon-yellow moon?
There are some people, unlike me and you,

who do not yearn after fame or love or quantities of money as
unattainable as that moon;
thus, they do not later
have to waste more time
defaming the object of their former ardor.

Or consequently run and crucify themselves
in some solitary midnight Starbucks Golgotha.

I have news for you—
there are people who get up in the morning and cross a room

and open a window to let the sweet breeze in
and let it touch them all over their faces and bodies.

(So,when kiss Spring comes
we’ll kiss each kiss other on kiss the kiss
lips because tic clocks toc don’t make
a toctic difference
to kisskiss you and to
kiss me)

e. e. cummings

"I feel like ice is slowly melting....little darling, it feels like years since it's been here...."

It’s always good to wake up to “Here Comes the Sun,” and even better to wake up to Paul Simon singing it with Graham Nash & David Crosby…..

If you listen to it twice, it’ll get stuck in your head, so be careful.