Plan for Next "Survivor" Show:
Three businessmen and three businesswomen will be dropped in an
elementary school classroom for 6 weeks.
Each business person will be provided with a copy of his/her school
district's curriculum, and a class of 28 students.
Each class will have five learning-disabled children, three with A.D.D.,
one gifted child, and two who speak limited English. Three will be
labeled with severe behavior problems.
Each business person must complete lesson plans at least 3 days in
advance with annotations for curriculum objectives and modify, organize,
or create materials accordingly.
They will be required to teach students, handle misconduct, implement
technology, document attendance, write referrals, correct homework, make
bulletin boards, compute grades, complete report cards, document
benchmarks, communicate with parent s, and arrange parent conferences.
They must also supervise recess and monitor the hallways. In addition,
they will complete drills for fire, tornadoes, and shooting attacks.
They must attend 100 hours of workshops, faculty meetings, union
meetings, and curriculum development meetings.
They must also tutor those students who are behind and strive to get
their 2 non-English speaking children proficient enough to take the TAKS
tests.
If they are sick or having a bad day, they must not let it show. Each
day they must incorporate reading, writing, math, science, and social
studies into their program.
They must maintain discipline and provide an educationally stimulating
environment at all times.
The business people will only have access to the golf course on the
weekends, but on their new salary they will not be able to afford it
anyway.
There will be no access to vendors who want to take them out to lunch,
and lunch will be limited to 30 minutes. On days when they do not have
recess duty, the business people will be permitted to use the staff
restroom as long as another survival candidate is supervising their
class.
They will be provided with two, 40-minute planning periods per week
while their students are at activity classes. If the copier is
operable, they may make copies of necessary materials at this time.
The business people must continually advance their education on their
own time, and pay for this advanced training themselves. This can be
accomplished by moonlighting at a second job or marrying someone with
money.
The winner will be allowed to return to his or her job.
Pass this to your friends who think teaching is easy and to the ones
that know it is hard. They will both benefit.