July 7, 2008
The Food Bank is now open on Saturdays!
Hey, I went by the FB last week & saw they started opening Saturdays from 2-5pm as well as the usual noon-2pm on Wednesdays...that's cool. It's tough when workin' folks can't get by to visit...
This just in....in keeping with the journalistic standards that only the Update employs, I will now post this, then go check to see if it's true. Then maybe I'll put some more news up, if I can find any. Today. Or tomorrow (it's been really nice out which makes it hard to do news gathering, you know.)
So, kinda in honour of the Fourth - this just in:
Britain is Repossessing the U.S.A.
A Message from John Cleese (right)
To the citizens of the United States of America:
In light of your failure to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).
Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a governor for America
without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate
will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to
determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Colony, the following rules
are introduced with immediate effect:
You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.
1. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be
amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and
'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping
half the letters, and the suffix -ize will be replaced by the suffix -ise.
Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable
levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such
as 'like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form
of communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let
Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell- checker will be
adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination
of -ize. You will relearn your original national anthem, God Save The
4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers,
or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows
that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be
handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without
suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough
to handle a gun.
6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more
dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish
to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
7. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your
own good. When we show you European cars, you will understand what we
8. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will
start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you
will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion
tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the
British sense of humour.
9. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been
calling gasoline)-roughly $10 per US gallon. Get used to it.
10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries
are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips
are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat,
and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
11. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually
beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as
beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will
be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable as they are
pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be
due to the beer. They are also part of British Commonwealth - see
what it did for them.
12. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good
guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play
English characters. Watching Andie McDowell attempt English
dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having
one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
13. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of
proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in
time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American
football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or
wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Don't try Rugby
- the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, like they regularly
14. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host
an event called the World Series for a game which is hardly played outside
of America . Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond
your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we
will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out
of their deliveries.
15. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
16. An official from Her Majesty's Inland Revenue (i.e. tax collector)
will be with you shortly to ensure the collection of all monies
due (backdated to 1776). Until these are paid, there will be no
representative government in the USA, in line with the policy: 'No
representation without taxation'.
17. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups and saucers
(never mugs), and with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes;
strawberries in season.
18. Some tea has gone missing, and we expect it back. We'll be searching
God save the Queen.
July 4, 2008
Happy Fourth of July to you!
Not sure what to do? It's easy - the parade in Friday Harbor is at 10:30am, the Pig War Picnic is at 11:30, and the Rock the Dock Concert is at 6:30pm, with the fireworks at dusk. Out at Roche Harbor, they have events all day long - check out their schdule on their website.
What was it like last year? Here are some galleries from times gone by:
Parade - 2007
Parade - 2006
Parade & Picnic - 2005
The Fourth at Roche - 2005
Parade - 2004
Log Rolling at Roche - 2004
Parade - 2002
Picnic - 2002
July 3, 2008
Fireworks early this morning....
Sounded like the holiday started early last night with all the thunder & lightning at around 2am....
Click on the little picture & see the big version of a photo Tim Dustrude took last night over near his place in the Greenway neighborhood...wow.
Check the weather for tomorrow - looks like it may be a bit cool & cloudy...
Mike Vouri's doing his Pickett show (right) at the Community Theater this weekend for the 13th year...I truly believe this show ought to be required "seeing" for anyone who lives here - Mike does a super job.
See you there...details on the Library's Community Calendar.
Speaking of the Fourth...
What's going on, on the Fourth? Click on on the Library's Community Calendar...you'll get the idea.
The Pig War Picnic is on....
Nancy Fusare & our friends at Kiwanis wanted to make sure you have the details for this annual Fourth of July event:
Kiwanis Club of Friday Harbor is proud to present the 10th annual Pig War Picnic at the San Juan Historical Museum at 405 Price Street. Come join us for food, games, live entertainment and a beer garden. Parade contest winners will be announced by emcee Pat O'Day.
Mike Vouri and Sugarland will tell the Pig War story. Steve Keys and the Ottomatics will entertain, as will Devorah and GottMusic.com featuring Geoffrey Castle, the One Time Band and the local high school band "Anthemology". $5.00 barbecue lunch. Starts right after the parade. No admission cost, donation only.
Great spot for the parade....
Teri at Dominique's says you're invited to Dominique's Annual 4th of July Pre- and Post- Parade Party (right next to the Little Store)! She says to stop in for mimosas and breakfast goodies, and enjoy the parade right outside her door!! Starting at 9:00 am (the parade is at 10:30am), you can save 15% on any purchase made on July 4th 2008! (with the exception of sale items and jewelry).
With an eye on the future.....
As we celebrate freedom & all the cool stuff that comes with the hoilday tomorrow, I think it's also good and necessary to cast a hard eye on the future that lies ahead.
One of my heroes is Paul Ehrlich, who has been monitoring the impact of population growth on humanity's chances for success for the past 40 years. Did you know that in 1961 there were 3 billion people on the earth? Today there are 6.7 billion, and that number continues to explode. Take a moment & see what Dr. Ehrlich is saying these days - click here.
One of the things people tell me they like about the Update is the way they can see a lot of people they know all in one place...I can think of no better way to do THAT than to report the cast list of last week's Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs at the Community Theatre, which went great, by the way.
That's Kimberly Mapstead (Snow White) with the Missoula Children's Theater's Kepler Correia in rehearsal before the show.
Snow White Cast of Characters
Snow White: Kimberly Mapstead
King: John Ogle
Queen: Bella Natalie Smoczyk Wrye
Mirror: Celeste Smoczyk Wrye
Phineas Finch: Sean McLaughlin
Foxy Fox: Emily Guard
Fernando: Peter Strasser
Dwarfs: Madison Wrese, Maddie Schroeder, Beatrice Grauman, Gunnar Sandwith, Libby Anderson, Eric Sable, Carly Woodward
Henchmen: Zack Reitan, Oliver Strasser
Black Forest Creatures: Ziah Guidotti, Rhiana Franklin, Julie Machin, Marga Eshelman, Ellie Woodward, Christine Machin
Bats: Doria Alsbree, Isabella Davis, Julian Brown, Joanna Evans, Jaclyn Domenech, Bailee Lambright, Joely Loucks, Jayna Ott, Brandon Payne, Chiara Power, McKenzie Serratt, Vida Wight, Caleb Wolf, Greta Wolf
Forest Animals: Isabella Brown, Faith Buck, James Guard, Abbi Haver, Hannah Hopkins, Samantha Hopkins, Madrona Jameson, Ashley Lambright, Coey McPadden, Talhia Mosher, Grace Ogle, Jessie Pachuta, Rachel Porter, Zack Porter, Audrey Sable, Julia Smith, Julian Stone, Naomi Whiting
Basketball is fun...here's proof....
That's Carly Woodward (right) and Zoe Cromer at the Advantage Basketball Camp a couple of weeks ago.
Learn to swim...hey, you live on an island! We're surrounded by water, dude!
Amy from the Fitness Club has the swim lessons going again this summer - here's the story:
Hi Ian! I don't know if you knew this, but one of the other hats I wear is co-ordinator of swim lessons at San Juan Island Fitness. We are offering swim lessons this summer and our schedule and registration information is up on our website. People are also welcome to stop by the Club and pick up a schedule. Please let folks know about this great opportunity for kids to learn to swim. Thanks, Amy Wynn
The Downtown Forum in action!
The Chamber of Commerce's Debbie Pigman announces that Forum members are getting things done! Here's more:
I'm pleased to announce three action plans, initiated by businesses in Friday Harbor during Chamber Downtown Forum discussions, have come to fruition.
One of the chamber's objectives is to nourish a healthy business environment. One way to do this is by developing a comfortable and inviting place to do business.
As a result of suggestions from local business people, the Chamber in partnership with the Town of Friday Harbor, implemented the action plans.
The first is an "Adopt a Tree Well" program. The Chamber asked individuals and business to participate by taking responsibility for planting and maintaining the ground areas under the trees in town. Friday Harbor Center, Dominique's Clothing, Chicago Title Company, King's Market and the Chamber of Commerce adopted all of the tree wells on Spring Street. (That's Lori Petersen of Friday Harbor Center at right, planting in one of the adopted tree wells.)
The second is Information Signs. To help visitors and locals better navigate our town, several Information Signs have been hung directing people to more shops and restaurants.
And the third is a new Shop Local decal, designed with a more personal message, that is now visible in many of our businesses' windows.
"It is exciting to see what once was just an idea become a reality...what began as a discussion at a small gathering of people develop into a partnership among the Chamber of Commerce, the businesses sector and the Town," says Pigman.
The Chamber Downtown Forum meets on the fourth Thursday of the month from September through May.
The purpose of the forum is to provide an opportunity for those with interests in the Town of Friday Harbor - employers, employees, owners, government and other community members- to communicate. The result is discussion, planning and action.
Contact Debbie at email@example.com or 378-5240 for more information.
A good place to go with your hair....
Our friend Kenneth over at Spirit Tree Gifts told me that his daughter Emily had her first haircut last weekend at Christy's, and donated her hair to Locks for Love. Awesome.
No one should negotiate their dreams. Dreams must be free to fly high. No government, no legislature, has a right to limit your dreams. You should never agree to surrender your dreams.