You know you’re from Washington….

Jeff Foxworthy

The following observations have been attributed to comedian Jeff Foxworthy, although I’m pretty sure you say the same stuff about islanders, just standing in the produce department of King’s and listening.

Shoot, just yesterday I dialed the “wrong” number and ended up spending a half hour talking to an old friend. See what you think, and check what you know:

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don’t work there, you live in Washington.

If you’ve worn shorts, sandals and a parka at the same time, you live in Washington .

If you’ve had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you live in Washington.

If you measure distance in hours, you live in Washington.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Washington.

If you have switched from ‘heat’ to ‘A/C’ and back again in the same day, you live in Washington .

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Central, Southern or Eastern Washington.

If you design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over two layers of clothes or under a raincoat, you live in Washington.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow and ice, you live in Washington.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you live in Washington

If you feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash, you live in Washington.

If you know more than 10 ways to order coffee, you live in Washington.

If you know more people who own boats than air conditioners, you live in Washington.

If you stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the “Walk” signal, you live in Washington .

If you consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain, you live in Washington.

If you can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle’s Best, and Tullys, you live in Washington.

If you know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye salmon, you live in Washington.

If you know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Abiqua, Issaquah, Snoqualamie, Wenatchee, Spokane, Umpqua, Yakima and Willamette, you live in Washington.

If you consider swimming an indoor sport, you live in Washington.

If you can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food, you live in Washington.

If you never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho, you live in Washington.

If you have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain, you live in Washington.

If you think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists, you live in Washington.

If you buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time, you live in Washington.

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